Duke's Boneyard Blog: Persuasian




I run a cattle farm for my humans.  Sometimes that puts me in a position where I need to influence others.  Others would include cats, Jax, Sydney, cows, humans, Mr. Fedex.  The list is endless.  And exhausting.

There are a few things I have discovered.  You cannot influence or persuade all cows the same way.  My arch enemy is a Limousine named Cyclops.  I dunno what happened to her, but she is a giant red cow with one twisted horn.  I guess her momma didn’t love her.  I don’t think Snowball, the bull, finds that very attractive.

Anyway, she and I disagree on everything.  For some strange reason she thinks she is in charge.  My humans have explained to her often, that is not the case, I, Duke, am.  Regardless, she causes problems.  Within any work environment there are going to be those that just cause problems.  So I’ll explain what I have tried and what works.


Hypnosis.  Did not work.  She didn’t have the attention span to watch me while I lured her into my thoughts.  But this totally works on Mr. Fedex as he brings me treats every week now.

Brainwashing.  She wouldn’t listen to anything I said, so was a no-go.

Coercive Persuasion.  I had mild success with this.  I would bark at her until she moved where I wanted her to.  But I think that actually hurt our relationship even more.

Mind control.  This works on Jax, but not success here.

Suggestive.  Yep.  This is the secret to success.  I could continue to bark at her, which I enjoy by the way, but it is exhausting.  So I started spending time with her in the fields.  We just kinda notice the farm together.  Visit a little about the new generation of heifers.  They apparently irritate her as well.  I try to acknowledge her more often on my security rounds.  I don’t get too close, as that one horn is a tad dangerous and she is not one to take accountability for injuries.  But over the last year I can tell that we have come to a bit of an understanding.  A mutual appreciation of each other.  We both have a job to do.  So I bark less and she seems to concede more.


My advice, don’t always bark, sometimes bend.

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